It was 7 months yesterday. I handled it pretty well because I was mostly asleep for all of it. I worked Saturday into Sunday and never had to write the date down so it never dawned on me it had turned from 18 into 19. I did think about Daniel on my way home, but that is par for my day. He isn't ever far from any of my thoughts. I came home, fell asleep and didn't fully wake up until Ryan came home. We got the boys from my parents, ate dinner, came home, and pretty much fell back asleep. It wasn't until I woke at midnight that I hit this realization. Of course, that got my mind flowing and I had to take a Melatonin to fall back asleep.
I've never enjoyed thinking of his anniversary (duh) but to not think of it feels empty. I think it's hard to try and describe to someone who has never experienced losing a child-or close loved one for that matter-what this really feels like. I'm honestly sitting here feeling a little dumbstruck.
That is normal. You are doing a great job of processing your emotions and expressing your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI think of Daniel most everyday - but most strongly on the 19th of every month also. It is always followed by thinking of you & hoping you are making it through your day without too much heartache.
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