Jake is 6

Jake is 6. While it truly feels like the kid should be turning 7 this year, just thinking about his growth and his little boyness now choked me up in the middle of Target today.

Jake, this year you have truly gone through so many new experiences. You started big kid school and got to ride the school bus, you had your first big kid play date without me, you welcomed in a new sister, you lost you first tooth-and then 4 more after that!-you experienced a "man haircut" at the barber shop, you learned pulling down your pants at the teacher gets you sent to the Principal and you got to see your fair share of letters written home about behavior. You also learned about math and reading and finished all 16 readers well before many others in your class. You worked on spelling and learning about punctuation and how to navigate through your school. You got to experience buying "tray lunches" at school and also found out how Mommy and Daddy can learn if you bought a meal without telling us. You had your first "girl friend" and announced in class she was "as hot as a blow dryer". You did vehemently deny Kelsey is your girlfriend all the while smiling through it. Now, she probably is a distant memory since she isn't even invited to your birthday party. You also got 3 new cousins and you love to name off all that you have. 

This year, we learned more about how to help you succeed in the classroom and not get so many letters sent home. It took awhile, but it has mostly worked. I learned this is not uncommon for young boys to have transitional behavior issues but it was still enough to make me cry and want to scream at the same time. Especially the flippant way you talked about in school suspension when you got to experience that for half a day. Outside of all of that, your flourish in school. You love learning about letters and words and numbers and making new sentences and rhyming. You also vocalized how you want to play trumpet in school because you love your music class. Going to the library each week was so exciting for you and we learned how to take care of school library books. You were in your first school Christmas musical this year and you thought you were cool stuff. You can't wait for summer school to start and want first grade to get her so badly. I am excited for it, too. I love learning and it's so awesome that you enjoy it, too. 

Your little personality has shaped a lot more this year. You have definite likes and dislikes now. You are quite obsessed with Dinosaurs and can name off quite a few and some of their habits and what their eating preference was. You schooled Aunt Em a little bit in them, too. Power Rangers Dino Charge started the fascination and then you just took off with it. Cars is another. There is a computer game you love to play that involves racing and advancing to a new tier. You've gotten to tier 5 now and your car garage has expanded exponentially in the game. Your favorites right now are Chevy, Mustang Cobra (your prized car) Audi and Nissan. You doodle the car emblems on top of picking them out and talking non stop about them. Literally, you will talk non stop about them. You have quite the anger streak still and stomp your feet, pout and cross your arms when you don't get your way. Or whine. It's so annoying. But it's still leaps and bounds better then when you were little so I will take it. On the flip, you are so gentle with your sister and love big. I mentioned on Mother's Day you show great affection to those you include in your circle and it's completely evident who you include. You love your family so much and never forget to include Daniel into it. That makes my Momma heart happy. You have a funny way of sounding like you're a know it all when really you are just self assured in yourself and what you have to say. You also think you're the most hilarious person ever. You have a new favorite show and it's like a little kid sitcom; Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn. It cracks you up. 

We've also had some good discussions about God and Jesus and you ask good questions. You've been especially interested around Easter time and how Jesus died on the cross. We went to a Catholic Easter service and you noticed the wounds on Jesus' hands and the crown. I pray this is the foundation you need that grows into something more. 

This year, I cant wait to see you start baseball and first grade. To learn more from you and make more special memories. You are a great big brother, s sweet son and a funny kid. I love you so much, Jakey. Happy 6th birthday. 

What is your favorite number?  
1101

Who are your friends? 
Allie, Jacob R, Jason, Rex, Levi, Tanner, Tommy, Josie, Alena, Caden, Cheyenne, Lexi, 
What is your favorite toy? 

Dino charge gun, Dino charge sword

What is your favorite food?  

Spaghetti

What is your favorite color?

Red, yellow, black

What is your favorite thing to play outside? 

Power Rangers 
What is your favorite car?

Mustang Cobra

What is your favorite book? 

The Three Billy Goats (we named them after Daniel, Jake and Andrew)

What is your favorite animal? 

Cow. Because you get milk

What do you want to do when you grow up? 

Drive cars

What is your favorite thing to do at school? 

Play

Who are your favorite teachers? 

Ms Morris and Ms Debby

Jake is 5
Jake is 4
Jake is 3

To my kids on Mother's Day

Daniel:

You made me a Mommy for the first time. We weathered a road where everything was new for both of us. You challenged me with your curiosities, your Houdini like moves, and your boldness. You were the reason I reflected on my self and the kind of Mom I wanted to be and allowing God into my life. You and I did a lot of growing up together and I know there was many a night where I went to bed feeling like I failed you. But I know with 100% certainty, there isn't a person on this Earth who loved you as much as me and would have fought for you as hard as me. You are now one of my protectors and you are evident in each of your brothers and sister. Through them, I can continue where you and I left off until we do get to meet again. I love you every day, monkey man, and especially on today when I have the chance to reflect on being your Mom.

Jake:

My only brown colored, curly headed child. You are one of the smartest kids I know. And one of the most  talkative. Together, we get to experince a lot of firsts. Each day I am amazed at what you talk about and your skill set. And your ability to absorb information-especially about cars and dinosaurs and words. I find myself learning a lot from you. While you are very much into you and what can benefit Jake, you love hard for those that you chose to share yourself with. Especially your sister. You have such a kind touch with her and are the only one that can make her laugh the hardest and biggest. I am constantly evolving how to parent you and am learning some of the things that work better for shaping you. There have been days where I have cried for you; for how you speak to me about missing your brother, for trying to understand how to get you to understand good behavior, for wishing I could give you more of me. And then there are all the times you have shown me that I must be doing it because you are quick to tell me you love me and think of me often when you're coloring at school and for making me special trinkets. I love that you challenge me with all of your questions and I hope you always see me as someone you can ask anything to. I love you, Jakey, my special little second born big boy.

Andrew:

Oh Andrew. You are bigger then life. You are intense with anything you do. Loving, playing, fighting, sleeping. I find myself daily asking for grace and patience and often-too often sometimes-needing more of it before the day ends. You are unlike anything else I have ever experienced. Your biggest love language is touch and you crave physical contact. You give the best hugs and are one of the most helpful kids. You are one determined kid and speak your mind often. There isn't much one can do once your mind is made up. I love that about you; your strength. I used to call you my Samson because of your deep desire to love and your uncanny strength. I can't help but laugh at you sometimes when you get worked up and start talking; you little jowls start shaking and you try to form words but your emotions play so hard into your speech.  You are my comedic relief with a lot that you do and say. I don't know how I can love a kid so much and feel so worn out at the same time at the end of the day, but with you, bud, it's possible. I love you so much in spite of the challenges we face together, Andrew Thomas.

Emma:

You are my littlest child, my only girl and my last baby. You make my heart sing. You are entertaining and talkative and give the biggest and best smiles. I'm sad when I have to drop you off at daycare and I cannot wait until I can pick you up again. Frankly, I'm surprised you can entertain yourself for a hour or even move because I never want to put you down. You are the most dear promise of healing and hope and I prayed often over you to have a kind and gentle spirit and to know your worth. Saying I love you to the moon is back doesn't even describe the distance of how much I care for you. I look forward so much to the bond we will have and I hope it's much like the one I share with your Grandma. You are bringing bit of sensitivity to your brothers and I know they are giving you a thick skin and together, I think you will do wonderfully. I love you, Emmy, to the moon and back.