Thursday, July 18, 2013

2 years

2 years. It's not a time of celebration. It definitely doesn't conjure up good memories. But it's a date that cannot go without recognition. Some days I still have to wrap my head around the idea that this is truly a part of my life. Some days I am absolutely jealous of others who carry all of their children in their heart and arms; especially those with 3. Some days I look at my family and physically feel the empty spot where he should be. And then some days I have joy. I have happiness. I have a thankfulness so great for the presence of God's grace in my life. Some days I sit with my phone typing words like this out because I will continue to use my testimony to God's greatness and power to overcome tragedy. 
In all of those days I make a specific point to reflect on where I am and what's been overcome. I make a conscious decision everyday to battle my grief and reign. I may not always win the day, but I know I've already won the war. My sweet boy is waiting for me and I will always seek joy in that. 
So, for this 2 year mark, I will take Jake to VBS. I will spend time with Ryan at Daniel's spot.  I will be reminded of the mark Daniel has on so many people and I will close that around my heart. I will spend time with family and I will eat an Oreo just for him. And I will continue to honor a God that has always been at my side.

Psalm 84:11-12 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.He gives us grace and glory.The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,what joy for those who trust in you. 

Friday, July 12, 2013


This smile is genuine. I woke this morning with the 19th looming so very close and I decided to choose happiness and thankfulness. I have a feeling like my heart could burst with the grace my God has given me always- and especially these past 2 years.
 I am taken care of.
I will always, always, always miss my Daniel. Always. But I will fight and claim victory over my grief. My God has always guided me through and I know He will continue to guide me. He is my sun and my shield.