I spent the first few moments of daylight in this new year at Daniel's spot after work. As I was driving home, my first instinct was to go there and make sure nothing had blown away because the winds were terrible this morning. I almost didn't go but then decided at the last minute to jump off the highway. I'm glad I did. I stood there for awhile, freezing, wishing I could see him and reflecting on what 2012 is going to mean to me. I'm not sure what I expected to feel once the clock turned to midnight. Maybe I was hoping for some of this weight to be lifted? For the newest minutes of the new year to suddenly make my life a little easier to bear? It didn't happen. But as I was standing next to Daniel's spot this morning, I talked to God. I am not a fan of new year resolutions but as I looked up to the sky and down at the ground, I asked the Lord for resolve. I prayed for help to work on my marriage, to make more time with Ryan, to spend more time enjoying what I have and less time worrying about what I don't. I prayed for peace this year, for strength only He can give me, and I prayed for my heart to be open to His path for our lives because as much as I don't want to acknowledge it, 2012 is still going to bring about a lot of changes.
I will never forget this awful time,as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin new each morning...the Lord is my inheritance, therefore, I will hope in Him. Lamentations 3:20-24
(Thanks, Janet :)
Now, if you'll excuse me, Jake and I have some time to go stand on our heads and play while it's just the 2 of us.
I love how you are so open to showing us your heart. I pray that 2012 will bring some healing and some peace for you. Lam. 3:20-24 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. Glad it spoke to you, as well!
ReplyDeleteThank you for constantly sharing so much! I have loved being able to see your journey the past few months~ Your strength is incredible!
ReplyDeleteHere is to HOPE!
U might have seen this as my facebook status, but it bears repeating: God can't lie...so His boasts are always based on truth. He permits and sometimes even dictates difficulty for those in whom He boasts so that they will prove what He already knows is true. The Lord does not put us to tests that He knows in advance we don't have the wherewithal to pass. He boasts in His faithful followers then lets them prove Him right. Sometimes the person most shocked by the proof is the human put to the test. (Beth Moore.)
ReplyDeleteI know Daniel's not just a test vehicle, rather he's an object of God's love, as are you! God just assumes we've read Revelation and believe the end result, however, He understands our frailties and our need for comfort in the meantime. Not only ours, but that of others at the same time. Daniel's memory reminds me to "keep the main thing the main thing" because this life is fleeting and we'll all be together SOON in heaven. We've just gotta make this time down here count. I wonder if he's hanging out somewhere near my grandmother? GOD IS GOOD!!!!