Duh.

"...I believed in God, so I spoke..."

2 Cor 4:13

Weeks ago in Sunday school my class touched on the subject of the truth of the Bible. More specifically, where we fit in the story of God. I struggled with this lesson. I was from the understanding that the Scriptures are my life lessons, that His words were supposed to be a foundation on how to model my life. So, I really got tripped up when we read that the Bible in not fundamentally about me but more of a revelation about God and His plan for the universe. How my life really isn't my life but a life about God; and I'm just a vessel to be used to glorify Him. So, I asked questions in class, got some really great answers from some of the pros (Kevin and Alice :) and thought, ok, makes sense. I'm a vessel, if I'm obedient I will gain knowledge in direct proportion to studying Him and His word and that will illuminate through me and in that way, my actions/words/thoughts/movements show Him. Simple.

Not.

I didn't really know just how much I didn't get it until I started up with this online Bible study on Luke. We're into the 2nd chapter and I am learning so much more about obedience. Yeah, we're reading the "Christmas story" currently but take away the tinsle and lights and showiness of Christmas and what it left is a hard-to-stomach-because-I-don't-think-I-possess-an-iota-of-the-faith-they-had-yet, incredibly selfless, vessel of a story concerning the obedience of Zechariah, Mary, Joseph and Jesus himself.

But, this post isn't even about Luke-all the way. The study of Luke opened my heart and mind to His word and tore down some veils of conceit and got me to this:

...I believed in God, so I spoke...

All of a sudden, everything from Sunday school and Luke and life started forming together in my lap via 2 Corinthians and the light (lightbulb) finally showed through.

I have a treasure stored within me. I gained that treasure when I gave my life to Christ. When I gave him my old, conceitful, my-way-has-to-be-the-only-way, life, I gained His life. And by gaining His life, my life suddenly became about His story because I want so very much to be a part of His universe.  These words, my ability to carry on through some pretty tough stuff, my actions-while definitely still a work in progress-show His love because I gave up the love of me.   All of a sudden, I am reading His story as just that-His story. The words written by humans filled with the Spirit concerning the works God did-and is doing-to make His story fully complete. And I want to be obedient. I want to shout that I am being used for His glory and my heart of black is changing to a heart of gold because He is flowing within me. When I finally meet Him face to face, I want my heart to be as perfect as it can be (cuz it's not totally perfect till I die anyway, still human down here) because I want my heart to be a heart that served Him in the role He chose for me.

So, thank you Lord for not giving up on me. For seeing that I would eventually get it and for guiding me to Your word. Thank you for the lives you placed around me-and above me-to help carry on Your plan. Thank you for the gentle reminders life is precious, but strong, if filled with You. Lord, I ask of your forgiveness when I stumble and pray You lead me back to Your plan always. Forever in your name.