Thursday, March 15, 2012

A week turned around

This week started off bad-so bad. With the weather changing I've brought out all the 3T summer clothes. Seeing the clothes that Daniel wore just 2 summers ago when he was 2 1/2 was difficult. There was one shirt I couldn't even stand to take out because I know I wouldn't be able to see Jake in it. Practicality ruled over my emotion because it just doesn't make sense to purchase an entirely new wardrobe when it was only worn once. Still, it doesn't make it any easier. We also found out that the contract placed on our house was terminated by the potential buyer so now it is back to square one. And our mortgage company isn't making it any easier. It's getting more discouraging and harder being here. And then I went to my OB and I hadn't been there since July and I was placed in the same room and my tears started flowing remembering what I felt sitting there 8 months ago. My attitude hasn't been stellar, either. I know earlier this week I was letting all of this get to me and burrow deep inside.
I had a lot of "woe is me" moments and tried to seek encouragement and peace with prayer and reading my Bible but I know it was a half hearted attempt because I wanted to sulk and be angry at our situation. It wasn't until last evening that I picked up my book I had been reading that I finally opened my eyes to who was trying to get my attention all week. Matthew 6 jumped right at me and the more I read into it, the better I felt. Sure, I've read it before, there are even some scripture that I marked, but lying in my bed last night, I think I really read it.

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

I think it was my attitude about this week that bothered me so much. Does He not promise me that He will take care of myself and my family? I've had setbacks this week, with my house and my heart and I didn't make it any easier on me-or Ryan- with my attitude. I let it get the best of me and thought we won't ever get better or move. It harbored with me and made me blind to His comfort. But, He got me finally, in the calm of the night where He so often gets me. I went to sleep with a better mindset and a new knowledge of what I need to change in me to change my circumstances. It helps that a page was sticking out more than the others and I came across this (and its' one of my favs):

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

And then this (I can't remember how I got to it, but does it matter?):

Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

I know Ill be reflecting on all of this for the rest of the week and giving thanks for Rachel, my Mom and Kevin for prompting me with words of comfort. I know it helped me enjoy this awesome weather we've been having and enjoy my men.


  1. Sorry you're having a rough week! I was wondering how it was going with the house sale. I'm so sorry that fell through! I'm glad your week got better. Your faith amazes me!

  2. I was at the park this week with the girls, and a random guy with a boy (his nephew) showed up. We started talking and he started sharing about how he'd taken a missions trip to India where he's working with an Indian pastor to build an orphanage. We talked about that for a LONG time and I mentioned that this must have been a huge fund-raising effort, etc. He looked at me, paused, and said, "I'm going to be honest with you..." Uh-oh...I thought maybe he was like ex-mafia or something! Turns out his daughter was killed in a horrific car accident down near where Matt is from (I remember hearing about that accident) about five years ago. He told me he received a large settlement for that and God had challenged him to use it to build this orphanage. He said he's clung to (for dear life) the verse that talks about what the devil plans to harm us, God purposes for good. He said it's the only thing that has kept him sane throughout the whole thing.

    I want to encourage you with it :o) God sees the bigger picture here and he will absolutely take care of you <3

  3. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)