These past few days have felt like a vacation-a vacation away from my constant heart ache. I got to spend an amazing Saturday with my very best friend and her family and my boys at this amazing pumpkin patch in Arthur, Illinois. It was the perfect Fall day. I got to see the Amish out and about and living their lives (and for those that know me, you know I love me some Amish-and their bread) I found out Jake loves chickens...and bees...and hay mazes...and apple cider. Andrew can sleep practically anywhere and still wake up happy and God certainly does have a creative imagination when it comes to making gourds and squash and pumpkins. Rach and I can sit in silence or she can fall asleep next to me in the car ride back and it isn't awkward at all because she and I are just that close. And I certainly know Daniel was watching over us that day because in the midst of petting the animals, I heard a train whistle. The only of the day.
And who knew that cleaning up dog poop with Ryan could make me laugh so hard? Or that Jake has this new dance that is absolutely hysterical? Seriously, going to have to video tape it. And when did he grow up into a little boy? And seeing Daniel's spot and all the love that surrounds him. (Ok, that is a little bittersweet and made me cry but it's a reminder of all the great people that love us) And Andrew's smile. Oh my goodness, his smile. It could melt even the coldest of hearts. He is just so special.
I've been trying so hard to really see the bigger picture in all of this-God's perspective and not my own over Daniel's death and I think these past few days have been a small bit of God's grace. It's ok to live again because life is truly special and has so many wonderful moments that I can take with me as memories.