One thousand gifts

I started reading this book after a recommendation from my sister in law and in the spare moments I do have to glean wisdom from its pages has been so enlightening. It's really so far been about one deeply rooted word.

 Eucharisteo.

I know I've written of the subject before and I know my Pastor has preached on it specifically before, but to read the deconstructed meaning and have a word for a feeling is so solid.

 Thanksgiving. Grace. Joy. 

Thanksgiving. To be with thanks in every situation-good and bad. Obviously, it isn't going to be a poof moment and every situation in life is call for a shout out of thanks to The Lord; but to even be at a point to recognize struggles and hardships don't necessarily have to burden a heart is thanks to Him for sharing in our burdens and sharing His words for our wisdom. Almost 2 years into Daniel's death and I am still learning what it means to be thankful for his life, his legacy and His works through Daniel. I'm by no means perfect in my submission to Gods path for my life, but the respect I feel with the lessons I get to learn still; well, I am just so thankful for them.

Grace. Goes into my imperfections, for sure. I mess up. I am stubborn. I want what I want when I want it. It does make for a tug of war with my world versus spiritual being. I've definitely been hit over the head multiple times for the same instance before clarity has settled in. I've noticed, however, once I've moved out of the way or once I've accepted Gods plan, the results are always, always a beautiful end. And I know my heart molds just a little bit more into a heart glorying Him. 

Joy. I know I've very specifically had a moment of recognition for joy. I've felt more joy in my everydays the past month then I have in awhile. From the experiences of making a new home,to reestablishing family, to making a new bed time routine, to cutting grass with a riding lawn mower, to, most importantly, watching my husband breathe better and physically watching stresses unburden from his shoulders. I have joy in speaking of Daniel with Ryan, of watching Jake and Andrew laugh with such child like abandon while riding with grandpa on the ATV or walking the property hand in hand to explore or sitting by the fire where the warmth from the fire matches the warmth  filling my spirit. It's a beautiful gift, this life. I can only pray I continue to learn to shape myself to really be ready to meet up with God in the glories of Heaven.